Give to Gain

Compromise: (n.) A settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions.  (American Heritage Dictionary).  As meaningful progress by Congress remains stuck in neutral, I can’t help wondering what happened to giving.  Not just taking.  Not one side or the other expecting to gain without providing something in return.  Failure to meet in the middle.  The same can be applied to contract negotiations between management and unions/associations, whether in the public or private sector.   To enter a discussion designed to resolve differences with absolutely no intention of bending is self-serving and irresponsible.

For a relationship to flourish, be it between spouses, partners, significant others, parents/children, relatives, friends, students/teachers, colleagues, labor/management, or any other, both parties must feel respected and their contributions valued.  All voices heard.  Unselfishness demonstrated.  Willingness to listen practiced.  Facts considered.  Opposing points of view contemplated.  When it becomes necessary to disagree, participants do so in a mature and civil manner, without resorting to personal attacks.  What is best for the organization as a whole trumps individual desires.  Majority matters.

Group relationships are an extension of whether or not individual connections have been made.  Failures at one-on-one levels limit group success.

“Never” and “always” are dangerous positions to assume; in most cases entrenchment creates insurmountable barriers to understanding and progress.  Robotic thinking (e.g. partisan politics) is the easy way out—requires no listening or thinking.  Contradictory debate can be healthy because it expands the possibilities.  To change a position after careful reconsideration takes wisdom and courage.  Reversing course after being provided with additional information is a sign of strength, not weakness!

Conversely, if after carefully weighing all information, with nothing presented that alters thinking, stick to your convictions.  Some issues can and should be non-negotiable, but not all of them.  Contributing spawns receiving!  Compromise.  More “we”, less “me.”