In his 2016 State of the Union speech President Obama appealed to Americans for a return to civility in politics and governance. This sentiment was echoed by South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, a Republican; for her to buck the trend of her party was courageous and admirable in light of the current political and social climate. I applaud both for their comments, and believe a focus on common decency should extend beyond politics to everyday life. Enough is enough, it is time for a return to respect and civility!
Self-centered, single-minded, and ill-mannered individuals have forgotten about or never possessed dignity, grace, sophistication, eloquence and respect. Emotions and theatrics overshadow logic and intellect. Polarization seems to be the goal instead of unification. Having strong beliefs and standards is admirable, and there are times to stand firm. But respect the passion of others. Divergent opinions followed by respectful dialogue can result in a positive outcome in which opposing stances are modified and blended. Compromise. Neither side is always right or wrong. For an individual or group to believe they have all the answers is arrogant. Because someone disagrees with you does not make them a bad person. Individuals on the other side of the debate are just as passionate (or more so) about a belief as you are. Careful listening to the opposition coupled with sincere reflection may lead to a determination of incomplete, insufficient, or incorrect information to begin with, causing a change of heart. Altering a position is not a sign of weakness; instead, it models a willingness to listen, study, process, and think about new information gained. A change of stance acknowledges courage and intelligence.
How is the cycle broken? One conversation and interaction at a time. Respect differences. Listen and consider. Contemplate what is being said, not what the next response will be. Maintain an open mind. Base comments on facts. Debate issues, not personalities. Seek compromise. Offer solutions, not just criticisms. Avoid attempting to self-build by insulting others. Resist name calling, character smears, and personal attacks, often a sign of insufficient logic and facts to support a platform. Disagree agreeably. Passion and civility can and should coexist. Greater focus on “we” instead of “me” would benefit all of us!